All is better today, yesterday was a blur, comprised of little sleep and stress.
I think I need help. I’m having so much decision making difficulty. I love Heather, she makes me happy, she is what makes me feel motivate and good and not useless and fucking stupid, she makes me feel like I should continue living because what I’m doing is okay. And it makes comparably sad because, I get so fucking angry and fed up and frustrated with these stupid trivial thoughts of death and loneliness, and I used to go and smoke a cigarette when I got like that. But I stopped, for a long time, those thoughts also stopped too. But those thoughts are all rushing back along with the anger and I cant just go have a fucking cigarette and calm down, that was my ritual, its seared into me now. If I fucking broke down that low in front of her, she’d think I’m so god damn weak, that my word means nothing, she’d be so disappointed. But it’s getting harder every second I’m awake. I’m growing more angry, more sad, these feelings I thought I kicked are coming back and I’m fucking scared and stressed out. I swear I can feel the two halves of my brain tearing again. ripping. …….
I think I broke my hand today.
My phone broke.
shit’s fucking pilling up.
I hate me more than you hate me,
I hope to garner no sympathy,
I wish it was anyone but me,
I can’t even set myself free.
Lions Save Kidnapped Girl
if lions are coming to rescue someone, you have to know what you’re doing is wrong. you know, in that moment before you’re torn in to tiny little pieces by said lions
apparently its been proven that animals will react to the cries of children regardless of what child it is. like wolves will react to human baby cries and even deer will react to human baby cries. they’ll try to find the child to help it. its some motherly instinct thing that all mammals share or something like that.
im not sure where i heard this but i think it was from psychology book my friend was reading.
There was one little boy who fell into the gorilla pen at a zoo and he just laid there and cried and this HUGE alpha male gorilla (or whatever the dominant gorilla is called) went over and actually stood watch over the little boy to make sure none of the other gorillas attacked him.
It has to be a mammal (deer won’t react to baby birds, for example) but yes this is true ^^
so basically it’s the same reaction we get when we see baby mammals